


Recollections

by dragons_SRSunn



Series: Insights [6]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Dawn of the Clans, Dialogue-Only, Moth Flight's Vision, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_SRSunn/pseuds/dragons_SRSunn
Summary: Micah, the first medicine cat of SkyClan, reflects on his life.
Series: Insights [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877074
Kudos: 6





	Recollections

**Author's Note:**

> This was really written by a friend who was too shy to get her own account.

I can scarcely remember my mother.

I think she was a kittypet, you see. With kittypets, their kits are often taken away and given to other Twolegs when they are very young. But you know that, of course.

I think her fur was yellow, like mine. She smelled like lilies. I know I had littermates-I remember them wriggling and squirming next to me-but I don't remember what they looked like or even how many there were.

In any case, the Twolegs took me away when my eyes were barely open. They brought me to a barn. I remember I was cold and scared on the way there. But in the barn it was warm and it smelled nice, and there were two cats already there: Cow and Mouse.

Cow was called Cow because she was black and white like one, and to be honest, she was also kind of plump. She was the one who raised me. She played with me-although Mouse did too, of course-and stayed with me until I fell asleep and let me sleep in her nest even when I was far too old for that and chewed up prey into little pieces so I could eat it. She loved me like I was her own son, and I loved her like she was my mother.

Mouse was the one who taught me how to hunt. He taught me how to walk quietly so the mice wouldn't hear me and how to jump lightning-fast to catch them. He also taught me how to race the dogs until he said I was faster than any cat he'd ever seen. He showed me how to climb up to the roof of the barn, which was fun until I got stuck one time and Cow forbade us from doing it again. He also taught me how to jump from the loft and the loft ladder, which was fun, but also slightly dangerous, which was why we made sure never to do it when Cow was around.

That's how I caught my first mouse. It was an accident. I meant to jump from the loft ladder to a hay bale, but as I jumped, my paw slipped and I landed on a mouse, squashing it and knocking the breath out of me. The mouse was worse off, though. I gave it to Cow. She was so proud of me. I never told her exactly how I'd caught it, though.

Cow was the one who named me Micah. I don't remember if I hadn't been named when I came to the barn, or if I'd had a name but forgotten it, but either way, I didn't have one. Cow said she'd had a brother named Micah who died when she was a kit, and she wanted his name to live on. And so I became Micah.

I still miss Cow and Mouse. When I left, I barely said good-bye...I had no idea that I would never see them again.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm not sure exactly how old I was, but I was definitely less than seven moons old when I began having the dreams.

I dreamed of a she-cat I had never seen before, with white fur and green eyes. I dreamed of her roaming around, usually on the moor. I dreamed of her living in her camp with a bunch of other cats. I dreamed of her playing with a gray tom the same age as her-her brother, it turned out. I dreamed of her learning how to fight and how to hunt-or, well, trying to. Usually she would get distracted and wander off and come back with some plant she found interesting. It drove her mother crazy. I couldn't hear anything in the dreams, so I didn't know any names, but after observing them for so long, I felt as if I knew them. Especially her.

I didn't think there was anything particularly strange about my dreams. Remember, I hadn't met many other cats then. For all I knew, plenty of cats had dreams about cats they'd never met. And I thought that's just what they were-dreams.

And then, one day, she showed up. The she-cat of my dreams, literally.

I didn't see her clearly at first. She was being chased by a dog that lived near the barn, and I ran in and led it away through the bramble patch. But when I got back and I saw her clearly...well, let me tell you, I was very surprised.

She said her name was Moth Flight.

You know her name. Of course you do. She's a legend among the Clans now, the first medicine cat ever. WindClan was always very proud of that.

Moth Flight told me she had dreams too, but hers were about dead cats-spirit-cats, they were called then, they weren't called StarClan yet-and about a green moth leading her somewhere, which was why she'd left home in the first place-she'd seen it while she was awake, and followed it.

While she was at the barn, she saw the moth again, and tried to follow it, but Cow didn't want to let her go. She said she was too young to be traveling alone. But Moth Flight said that she _had_ to go- _now_.

So I said I would go with her, to protect her, and also to find out why I kept dreaming about her.

I said good-bye to Cow and Mouse. I promised I would always remember them, and that we would see each other again. Mouse said he'd heard cats say that before, but that once a cat wandered, they rarely come back.

I had every intention of coming back one day, but as it turned out, he was right.

The moth led Moth Flight to Highstones. We stopped as night fell, and the moth stopped too, at a hole in the cliff face. Moth Flight went in, into the tunnel, and found the Moonstone.

The spirit-cats told her they had chosen her to be the first medicine cat. Not only was she to heal cats with herbs, she was also to look for omens from them and advise her leader.

Moth Flight was overwhelmed. WindClan's leader then was her own mother. But the dead cats had faith in her. And they showed her four other cats who would be medicine cats as well, one for each Clan. Dappled Pelt of RiverClan. Pebble Heart of ShadowClan. Cloud Spots of ThunderClan. I see you recognize those names as well.

And for SkyClan? Me.

I was surprised too. I'd barely heard of the Clans, and I knew nothing about herbs. But the spirit-cats had chosen me, and I could learn.

And I'd had dreams about that too, that a gray tom was ordering me to bring herbs to a sick kit. It turned out that the gray tom was SkyClan's first leader, Clear Sky-sorry, Skystar. That's one thing I could never get used to. You modern Clans-the way you change your names, from a kit to an apprentice to a warrior. Don't you ever get confused? Even you-when you get your full name, didn't it take some getting used to? Didn't you still think of yourself as your apprentice name, even just for a sunrise or two?

But I digress.

In any case, as I told Moth Flight, at least this way I knew what lay ahead of me. Now that I knew what path my life would take, I had no reason to fear. What would be scarier would be if I had no idea of the path I would follow. At least this way I had some idea. Besides, it's pointless to try to outwit your destiny. You just have to face it. But you know that, don't you? Better than most, perhaps.

The spirit-cats told Moth Flight that when she told the others about the medicine cats, they would send a sign. They said, "We will split the sky. And later, stars will rise." We didn't know what that meant, yet.

So I went with Moth Flight to the Gathering, and she told them what the spirit-cats had said. She was brave, speaking to five Clans and their leaders like that, even if one of the leaders was her mother. _Especially_ if one of the leaders was her mother.

They weren't sure whether to believe her or not, but then the spirit-cats sent their sign. A bolt of lightning-on a _cloudless night_ \- split the sky and hit a tree right at the edge of the hollow. I still remember the awe I felt then.

After that, it was unanimous. Moth Flight was right, the spirit-cats were right. Each Clan would have a medicine cat.

Well, mostly unanimous. Cl-Skystar didn't like the idea of taking a rogue into his Clan, and I can't say I blame him. He'd had some bad experiences before. But I did my best.

I got to know the SkyClan cats, and I learned my way around herbs. Skystar appointed a cat named Acorn Fur to be my assistant. Well, also to spy on me. It was sort of obvious. But that wasn't her fault, and she was a big help.

Acorn Fur became the SkyClan medicine cat after me.

And then, when we went to the Moonstone and spoke to the spirit-cats....It was amazing. You remember your first time? It's the same for every cat, I think. I did feel a little out of place. The other medicine cats were greeting old friends and kin, while I knew no one. But even so...it was wonderful.

They told us they were a Clan as well, and Moth Flight gave them their name: StarClan. 

They told us that we had to share what we knew with each other, to learn more.

I had the idea that Moth Flight and I could travel from Clan to Clan. We would share with them all we knew about healing, and we would learn from them all they knew. Then we would go to the next camp, and repeat the process, until every medicine cat knew as much as the others, and we all knew every possible way to heal cats, even if we didn't use those particular remedies. So that's what we did.

It was fun. Almost like an adventure. Not much pressure, meeting new, friendly cat....Especially with Moth Flight.

I liked Moth Flight. She was brave and curious and energetic and kind and....

Well.

I asked her if she would do me the honor of being my mate, and she accepted.

You're surprised, aren't you. That two medicine cats- _medicine cats!_ -from different Clans became mates? Moth Flight and I broke the warrior code three times over:Once because I was a medicine cat, once because she was a medicine cat, and once because we were from different Clans. It was even more than your worst scandal. I'm sorry, but it had to be brought up. It's most of the reason why I'm telling you all this.

But this was before the warrior code. We had the basics, of course-don't kill, don't trespass on another Clan's territory-but most of the warrior code you know would not come into existence for seasons.

And the medicine cat code? Medicine cats were still very new. Our situation-mine and Moth Flight's-played a big part in creating the medicine cat code.

I was so happy. _We_ were so happy. We had all these plans...

And then I died.

Not right away. A little while later. To make a long story, with the ramifications of other cats' choices and actions and a lot of history we didn't understand then, short, a WindClan cat was sick, and Moth Flight and I went to SkyClan territory to get sap from a tree to heal him. I went up in the tree while Moth Flight waited on the ground.

Skystar found us. He was very touchy about borders. Also, relations between SkyClan and WindClan had been rocky lately, with each one accusing the other of trespassing and stealing prey.

No, it _was_ different from normal Clan relationships now, because we'd been set up, but we didn't know that then.

Skystar sent a warrior named Red Claw up into the tree to stop me. A WindClan cat named Willow Tail climbed up to stop _him_. She had a deep grudge against SkyClan, and Red Claw in particular-she was the one who'd been fabricating the stolen prey and lying about smelling SkyClan scent on the WindClan side of the border-but we didn't know that then either. I tried to stop them from fighting...I fell out of the tree.

Thank you. It's all right-I just don't like talking about my death. Nobody does, really. I mean, do you? But anyway.

Over my grave, Moth Flight spoke the words that would become part of every Clan burial: "May StarClan light your path. May you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter where you sleep."

Moth Flight was not the first medicine cat for nothing, you know.

About a moon after my death, Moth Flight realized she was expecting our kits.

Yes, two medicine cats from different Clans had kits.

It was hard for Moth Flight. She'd barely begun to recover from losing me, and now she was going to be a mother! On the other paw, who wouldn't rejoice at the prospect of bringing new life into this world? But remember also, I hadn't been part of SkyClan for very long, but even so, it was a difficult situation for everyone involved. Even the kits. Especially the kits.

You know something about that, don't you? You wanted to protect everyone involved, all your kin, which is why you made the decisions you did.

There were four kits, two toms and two she-kits. One was white, just like Moth Flight. One was yellow, like me. The other two were a combination of both our pelt colors, white and yellow.

I'm sorry for rambling, but, well, a parent can never talk too much about his or her children. You know a bit of what that's like, don't you?

Moth Flight named them Spider Paw, Honey Pelt, Blue Whisker, and Bubbling Stream.

No, naming kits with the -kit suffix only came later. Back then we gave kits their full name at birth.

Yes, they do sound a bit like Tribe of Rushing Water names, don't they?

Moth Flight loved the kits. I loved the kits, even if I couldn't raise them. I watched over them from StarClan, but it wasn't the same.

It was hard for Moth Flight. She was a busy mother of four rambunctious kits, trying her best to play with them and keep them out of trouble and raise them properly and give each one the attention he or she deserved.

At the same time, she was her Clan's only medicine cat. Their _first_ medicine cat-she had had no experienced mentor to teach her. You know how busy the life of a medicine cat can be. One time Moth Flight was going to RiverClan for something, and the kits followed her, and Spider Paw fell in the river and nearly drowned. For a few heartbeats, I was certain he was going to join me in StarClan.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Raising four kits alone while grieving for a lost mate is hard enough.

Well, I shouldn't say "alone." She had her Clan. But even an entire Clan can't replace a lost mate.

And raising four kits alone while grieving for a lost mate and taking care of the entire Clan is impossible.

No, it wasn't fair. Not to Moth Flight, not to our kits, not to WindClan.

And Moth Flight realized...she realized that she could take care of her kits, or she could take care of her Clan. She couldn't do both.

And that is why she decided, as the first medicine cat of the Clans, with StarClan's approval, that medicine cats were forbidden from having mates and kits. It simply wouldn't work.

Yes, I know that many medicine cats say that it would have. But would it? The medicine cat would be trying her hardest to be medicine cat to the Clan, and mother to her kits, and in the process failing to be fully either.

So Moth Flight gave our kits up. Blue Whisker to ThunderClan, Honey Pelt to SkyClan, Spider Paw to RiverClan, and Bubbling Stream to ShadowClan.

Yes, she split them up. It was hard for all of them. The idea was to help bring peace to the Clans. Cats would be less likely to fight another Clan if a Clanmate of theirs had kin there. And my kits would be less likely to jump to judgment of other Clans, since their littermates were there. They would go to their siblings and talk to them, to clear up any misunderstandings or to find out what really happened. It fostered unity between all the Clans, really it did. It was for the best.

Well, but do I _look_ like I wanted them to be in this situation? Caught between the Clans? Do you think I _wanted_ my family to be like this?

No, I'm sorry. It's...it's hard, even for me, and I was in StarClan the whole time; I only met my kits when they died. You know what it's like to be caught between two Clans...imagine being caught between five.

When Moth Flight joined StarClan, we discussed amending the rule so that it wouldn't be all or nothing. But one loophole leads to another, and another...in the end, we left it as it was. That rule has remained the same since Moth Flight first made it, and since then it has only been broken twice in the entire history of the warrior Clans, which is quite an accomplishment, honestly, considering how often some of the other rules in the warrior code are broken.

When Yellowfang had her kits, we considered speaking to her, Moth Flight and I. But we would have had to explain who I was, and no cat knew of SkyClan then. It would have only complicated matters, which would have been the last thing she needed. And she had her mentor, and her mate-her mate was the Clan leader, so we thought that would help. And then two of her kits died...we cared for them here in StarClan. But the third one, we could sense a little of his future...StarClan can only do so much.

But sometimes, I feel such regret...

Brokenstar's life could have been so different if he'd had a caring mother, and perhaps Moth Flight and I could have helped, we could have spoken-we could have done _something_. But I'll never know now.

And with you-we didn't speak to you because, like Yellowfang, you didn't know of SkyClan. But in addition, you had Yellowfang and Feathertail helping and guiding you. Moth Flight and I, unfamiliar medicine cats from so long ago, would scarcely have helped. StarClan does not like to meddle with the living more than necessary, you know. Otherwise, they wouldn't be living their lives-they'd be living ours.

And you had your sister, to help you, to cover for you, to lie for you, and to raise your kits and love them as her own. In all honesty, I think one sister like yours is worth the help and advice of all of StarClan.

Do I wish things had been different?

Yes.

But, like you, I am more or less satisfied with the way things have settled. I can be proud of and love my kits, and their kits, and their kits, just as much as you can be proud of and love your kits, and their kits, and their kits. They deserve it. But more than that, they have _earned_ it.

Don't you agree, Leafpool?


End file.
